I'm going to buy my books 30 minutes before my first class

Went to another demolition derby today. It was quite different from the one in Midland, since it was a dirt area and a much larger arena. There was a station wagon that was getting to about 30mph before making contact, which is unassailably cool. We even managed to almost run out of gas in Dan's car. Church was good as well, although I'll have to get used to it again. I don't like the one style of worship, since it's just the traditional service with failed modernizations. Basically, all the hymns and songs are the same, just in 3/4 or otherwise just don't flow. If you're going to do a contemporary service, just redo the service as contemporary instead of trying to force the old one. Fortunately I will be playing for the contemporary folk service which is just that second option. This year I'll actually be playing bass instead of faking the guitar part. I felt like a poser, that someday they would realize that I didn't really sound that good, it was just the added tones that made them think it was good.

So here's the part of Ladder Theory that really bugs me: it's almost impossible for a guy like me to date a girl that I'd be attracted to me. Imagine this: before I'm dating a girl I'm only seen as her friend or as an attractive guy. The second possibility requires both that the girl is attracted to me and that I realize this quickly and ask her out. The former (and I believe the more likely) is that I become good friends with her, meaning she doesn't want to date me for fear of ruining our relationship and I just want to date her more because I'm now assured she's someone I'd like to date. What a horrible catch-22. Add to this that I'm generally pretty shy, especially when meeting new people, and you can see my dilemma.

Not that I'm horribly depressed or desperate or anything, I've just analyzed the situation and am calling it like it is. Why do I want a girlfriend? Two reasons. First of all, I got so used to having lots of good female friends it's been a very different experience. I feel much more balanced with a little estrogen, it helps to keep me from letting myself get out of hand. Secondly, I've learned so much from my previous relationships that even though I may not find my soul mate, I'll learn how to treat her (and all women) the way I really should. Besides, companionship and friendship are always good things.

Well, what happens happens.